The Car Files: Thoughts of an Enthusiast

You Had One Job

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Certain cars should have stayed on the drawing board. Other cars should have seen a couple revisions before rolling off of the assembly line. You ever wonder which ones? Don’t worry here’s a list of a few since the turn of the millennium.

1. Ford Excursion

Sadly enough, I actually like the Excursion. It’s closest thing the average person can get to a tank, without military clearance. So what, if it was unnecessarily large and lacked decent gas mileage, we can thank the Excursion for the rise of the CUVs.

2. Plymouth Prowler

The concept, meaning the idea, behind the Prowler was risky, yet epic at the same time. Hot Rod looks and Modernized equipment. Too bad the “epic” ended there. This is a situation that required a V8 and with the 4.7 and 5.2 engines as options, the anemic 3.5L couldn’t meet the standard.

3. Pontiac Aztek

The vehicle that catches the most shrapnel from the car world. Check my post, , which explains the Aztek.

Related: How Pontiac killed Pontiac

4. Chevy Impala

The old classic Impalas were V8 powered and RWD. The last time a V8 and/or RWD Impala was built, was the 96 SS model. Nowadays, even though the current generation is alright, the two preceeding generations were nothing more than Enterprise’s breadwinner. At least the Supercharged 3.8 SS and the 5.3 SS were worth something.

5. Jaguar X-Type

The X-Type had the looks of a XJ that was built with the wrong blueprint. Pretty much, a Ford Contour with a Jaguar costume on. Who approved this build and thought that it would contend with a 3-Series Bimmer, probably misjudged the dynamics here.

6. Ferrari FF

What? The FF? Why bruh? Simple. The FF is a pretty sweet ride, it’s just not visually appealing to me. Let’s consider other comparable vehicles. They have the same features but stunning looks such as the Vanquish, Wraith and Continental GT. Maybe I’m being too nitpicky, but I’d rather see a four door Ferrari instead.

7. Hummer H3

I have two gripes with the H3. The H3 never met its true potential. It was the Gallardo for Hummer, being the everyday Hummer. The H3T was cool and the concept version was just as cool. The H3X was another cool concept, but in typical GM fashion, the concept was just wasted money. The second gripe is the reason why the H3 didn’t go too far. I test drove one and felt like I was driving a brick with an underpowered engine and cheap plastic.

8. Subaru Baja

It tried to be revolutionary and pick up where the Brat left off. It worked on paper, but in real life, an Outback with a pick up bed was pointless, especially considering the fact that, you could do more with an actual pickup. Didn’t the Envoy XUV try the same thing?

9. Lykan Hypersport

Refer to my post, The Lykan Hypersport…Underwhelming Overkill, for the reasoning behind this one. However, headlamps encrusted with precious stones, are all the rage now.

10. Chevy SSR

The death of the Camaro was followed by the birth of the SSR. A modernized, retro hot rod pickup. Unlike the Prowler, the SSR was done right, with a few minor, very minor, exceptions. It was too heavy, impractical, unwelcomed, and overall it followed the death of the Camaro. They look cool and at the end of the day, that is all that matters…right?

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